


What you see in me

by MangaBitch



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Best Friends, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluffy Ending, Jealousy, Lack of Communication, Loneliness, Love, Making Up, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Romance, Self Confidence Issues, Stream of Consciousness, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-09-28 17:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10140578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangaBitch/pseuds/MangaBitch
Summary: Sasha gets upset because her girlfriend of a year and a half Mikasa seems to be avoiding her lately. To vent her stresses she goes over to her best friend Connie in order to deal with her frustration.However Mikasa isn't happy about Sasha avoiding her either





	1. Is she mad?

**Author's Note:**

> Happy ending I promise

Sasha sat quietly curled up on Connie's sofa her legs tucked under her chin. She hadn't moved an inch since she showed up at his place and was staring silently into oblivion.

She didn't know what else to do; she had burnt herself out and was lacking any motivation to move. Her heart was swimming with a pool of mixed emotions. The love of Sasha's current life and her girlfriend of almost a year and a half was ignoring her. She barely spoke to her and tended to ignore her calls or texts.

She still cuddled with her at night (very tightly she may add) and acknowledged her presence. However, she didn't speak so much as two words to her. Most times when Sasha saw her she was with her childhood friends Eren Yeager or Armin Arlert. It seemed that whatever was hurting her; Mikasa didn't trust Sasha enough to tell her.

Sasha couldn't fathom what she could have done to upset the Ackerman girl. I mean Mikasa was odd like that with showing her emotions but she would have made it obvious. Over their time of dating Sasha had become very good at reading the Ackerman girls body language. She could tell when something good happened or something bad happened.

And everything inside of her was screaming that she had fucked up somehow. She had done something wrong without realizing it and really hurt Mikasa. Or what if it wasn't even that; what if…. what if Mikasa didn't _want_ her anymore. What if she wanted to break up?

She tightened the grip on her knees and tried to shake the thought from her mind. No; not after a year and a half (almost 2) would Mikasa want to break up with her. That couldn't be it. I mean Sasha had always mentally accepted that her girlfriend was far prettier than her; her Asian blood making her very popular with the guys in her class. She had never told Mikasa this but always admitted it.

Sasha had dark chest length wavy-ish hair; that on most days looked like a tangled or wavy mess. She had rather sizeable breasts but she was often self-conscious about them. People always started at them or looked at them rather than her eyes. They caused her back pain and got in the way quite a lot. Yes, though it didn't look it she was at least a 36D.

Mikasa had shoulder length silky black hair that looked good even on a bad day; it was literally impossible for her to have a bad hair day. It was so shiny and silky to touch that Sasha loved running her hands through it constantly.

The mental thought of running her hands through Mikasa's hair made her feel worse. She really fucking missed her but was too upset to so much as call her. Her soft silky skin that Sasha loved to touch; loved to stroke, loved to caress; like a baby. Her healthy C cup breasts that fit so well in her hands.

Mikasa had always kind of hated her breasts but Sasha loved them; they fit so well into her hands and weren't too big or too small. They were just the right size for her body. The idea that she would never be able to hug Mikasa, kiss her, or even be able to touch her in any way again upset her. She wanted to be with Mikasa for as long as time would allow them.

Suddenly Connie came into the living room quietly and sighed heavily. Sasha hadn't moved since he went to make tea for both of them. "Sash… potato girl? How you holding up?" he called back in a playful yet caring manner. He only ever called her that nickname in an attempt to cheer her up.

Though she hated it when other people would call her that; she was fine with Connie saying it. Because he was her best friend and he meant it out of humour. She peered up from her lap quietly and looked at him from the corner of her eye "…Ok I guess" she muttered.

She wasn't exactly lying; she had been a mess when she first showed up at Connie's. Angry, short tempered and pacing back and forth in his hallway. However, after a while she eventually burnt herself out and found a semi calm state of mind and was currently sat on his sofa.

Connie approached and placed the two mugs on the table quietly. He didn't know what to do or what to say to make Sasha feel better. He himself was no genius when it came to relationships; but he was a good friend and he would do his best to help in her in any way he could.

"You hungry? All that pacing about earlier will have worn you out" he asked kindly. He had some freshly baked bread his mum brought over in the kitchen. He was making chili for lunch and it was a homemade recipe.

Usually Sasha would have jumped at the very mention of food; but instead she simply shook her head. She wasn't in the mood to eat right now. She wanted her girlfriend; she wanted Mikasa. But the latter most likely wouldn't even notice or realize she was missing. Mikasa did tend to have a one-track mind after all.

She gripped her knees tightly "No its ok" she replied stiffly. She wasn't exactly lying; even after all that crying and pacing she didn't want to eat. She couldn't really stomach the idea of food right now.

Connie frowned "Come on Sasha; it'll make you feel better" he said gently. Not eating wouldn't do her body any good. He knew she was hurting but not hurting herself would do no good. It wouldn't make the situation any better either.

"I'm not hungry Connie" she replied sharply. She knew he was trying to be kind but she really wasn't in the mood to eat anything. If she did she wouldn't finish it or simply take one mouthful.

Connie wanted to argue but the tone of her voice made him consider otherwise. Though she didn't look it normally Sasha could be very scary when mad. He sighed in defeat and sat next to her quietly. He then picked up his own mug of tea and blew on it quietly before sipping the contents. "You tried speaking to her? You know how awkward Mikasa is with voicing her feelings" Connie suggested.

Mikasa had always appeared to be a stoic and withdrawn character. However deep down she was a truly caring and motherly individual. She had been very happy when Sasha confessed to her and the first few months of them dating; Mikasa had been silently fangirling when Sasha hugged her.

Sasha hesitated then nodded "Y…yeah; but she's always with Eren and Armin lately" he explained defensively. She had come to respect the bond the three of them had and never interrupted their conversations. Whenever she wanted to speak to Mikasa; she wouldn't be home or would be with her friends. So instead of interfering she went about her own routine and gave Mikasa her space.

Connie sighed "You should try talking to her; it'll help" he reassured her. They needed to deal with this as a couple; talk this out together. He could only do so much as her best friend after all.

Sasha relented then nodded; Connie was right. Usually she was the one to give advice but today he was the one helping her. She smiled weakly at Connie in gratitude "Thanks Con" she said kindly. He really was a good friend.

Connie smiled at her "No problem" he said smiling. He then nodded at her tea gesturing her to drink so she could feel better.

Sasha took the hint and hesitantly took the tea; it tasted good. It warmed her insides and comforted her conflicted soul. She felt a bit more confident; still shaky but a little bit of courage boiled inside of her. Telling she should take Connie's advice and talk to her lover.

_ **Later** _

Sasha paced down the street quietly towards her and Mikasa's shared apartment. She wondered if it would be empty or if she would find the latter inside. If she came home to a dark apartment it would only bring back the sadness from earlier.

Hell, even if they didn't talk she just wanted to lay beside Mikasa and hold her. To feel her body against her own as they slept; breathing in her comforting scent and to bury her nose in her hair.

She started up the stairs and eventually reached the front door. She grabbed her keys and opened the door quietly trying not to make too much noise. As she closed the door she saw that a few of the lights were off bar the living room and hallway. This meant Mikasa was indeed inside.

Slowly she removed her coat and shoes making her way inside. She was wearing a blue "I love pizza" T shirt and black ripped jeans. She then walked down the hallway to see Mikasa indeed sitting in the living room quietly.

She was sat in the same position she had been sat in earlier but on their couch. Her dark hair tumbled over her face in a curtain hiding her beautiful face. Her black eyes voice of any emotion. She was wearing a pair of blue washed jeans and a red hoodie (Sasha's red hoodie) and curled up on the couch. Her nose was buried into her lap and she was staring at the floor intently.

Sasha entered the living room quietly. She didn't know what to say to her or how to even begin the conversation. "Um…. I…" Sasha began but was cut off by Mikasa sitting up quietly. The sudden movement caused her to jolt in surprise and step away.

Suddenly Mikasa pulled her into a hug quietly Sasha's head resting comfortably on her shoulder. The latter being rather stunned at her abrupt gesture. "Welcome home" Mikasa said quietly. It had been really quiet without Sasha around and she hated it.

Sasha softened allowing her thoughts from earlier to leave her mind. She then wrapped her arms around Mikasa quietly and hugged her. "I'm home Mika-chan" she said softly. She could just forget about earlier for now; forget about it and hold the girl she loved oh so much.


	2. The perfect plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha decides to do something romantic to help get lovey dovey with Mikasa after feeling so distant from her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff and sasha being cute

Sasha came to quietly her eyes slowly opening as she roused from her deep sleep. The light was beaming through the curtains slowly hitting her making her realize she had to get up. Another day had started in the city and most of the citizens were out enjoying their day. 

For all she needed to get up she wanted to enjoy her lie in just a little bit longer while she could. I mean every other day she and Mikasa were up for college because they both had classes. God she cursed that damn place for making them get up so fucking early in the morning; who needs sleep right?

She grumbled quietly and rolled over to face her girlfriend and bury herself in her shoulder. However instead of finding a warm body next to her she found an empty bed. Confused, she moved her hand around to feel the space beside her.

The bed was cold too; meaning that Mikasa had been gone for a while. But considering she was a deep sleeper it was hard for her to be woken very easily. But surely she would have come back right? This place was Mikasa's to begin with before they started dating. 

Sasha felt her eyes snap open in shock and she sat up quickly. She had expected to find Mikasa laid in bed beside her sleeping but she had woken up alone. This wasn't something she was used to. Normally she would wake up to a soft warm blooded female sleeping beside her. 

She gripped the sheets tightly and began to calm herself as best she could. Mikasa was probably taking a shower or making breakfast in bed or something like that. I mean it was the weekend so she was most likely spoiling herself.

They had a bunch of exams the past week and they had both studied really hard; Mikasa in particular. When they all passed and got good grades Mikasa had been very relieved. There were times she had gotten so stressed Sasha had been afraid to approach her.

Besides there were a lot of things Mikasa liked to do during a weekend when things were particularly hard. She would take a long soak in the tub or she would go out for some exercise to clear her head. She picked up her phone to check the time. It was 9:30 meaning Mikasa would have gotten up about 8-ish; I mean she was an early bird. So she would be back now or anytime soon so it was ok.

While Mikasa would easily wake up and get her morning started; Sasha was not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. It would often take Mikasa dragging her out of bed and carrying her over her shoulder to wake her up.

But it's not like she would have gone anywhere without her right? I mean they hadn't spoken for a while and she had hoped they could spend a weekend together. Just the two of them together and nobody else.

It felt like ages since she and Mikasa had done anything couple based together. Just holding hands and messing about in public while being reminded of how happy they were together. How lucky they were to have found someone like them.

Sighing heavily; Sasha got out of bed and sighed as her body clicked making her wince. She scratched her back and tummy before making her way out of the bedroom. She then yawned loudly and smacked her lips before messing with her hair. 

She had always been labelled a tomboy by others because of her lack of femininity. However Mikasa had later gotten used to these antics and sometimes smiled or laughed at them. But even when she had bed hair or food on her face to Mikasa she looked beautiful. 

As she walked around their apartment she heard no running shower nor anyone in the kitchen. The apartment was quiet and there was no sign of life apart from herself around. She would be lying if she said she wasn't a little worried Mikasa would suddenly jump scare her. 

"Mika? Babe?" Sasha called out curiously using her pet name. They had started doing so once they were comfortable with each other. Sasha called Mikasa; Mika as a shortened version of her name. Mikasa called Sasha; Sash. But most days they called each other babe or sweetie.

However, she was met with no answer making her wonder what was going on; she wasn't used to things being this quiet. Was she watching TV? But there was no sound anywhere. If she was watching Netflix she would have heard the TV show in the background. When Mikasa got bored or couldn't sleep she would watch a show but keep it on quiet as to not wake Sasha.

A sense of concern came over Sasha and she gripped her fists tightly; if she had long nails it would have hurt. She wasn't in the living room like she was last night and the bathroom was quiet. You could have quite literally heard a pin drop. 

Mikasa was nowhere to be found and it was rather worrying to Sasha. Why would she go somewhere without at least leaving her a note as warning? They told each other everything after all; no secrets, no lies, just give me your all. 

Whenever they went to the store or was meeting with friends they would text or leave notes with one another. But there was no trace of paper scribbles anywhere. No sign of warning of where she might have gone.

She shifted and gripped her arm tightly for comfort as she stood alone in the apartment. She didn't understand what was going on with Mikasa lately. It was like she was a completely different person and it was scaring her a little.

She was avoiding her, going out with her friends a lot and being clingy during the evening without warning. She was always going out without her and seemed to be distant lately. It was like watching someone else's life in a soap opera instead of it being hers. 

She had no idea what was going on or what was running through Mikasa's head but she didn't like it. She didn't like not knowing as it made her worry. Her head started to jump to conclusions again. "Ok Sasha calm down; just take a shower and make breakfast. She's probably just gone for a jog" she told herself. Most of Mikasa's comfy bras were sports bra's but Sasha never dared to question her.

Ever since they met she had known Mikasa was a fitness freak. She loved staying in shape and found it really therapeutic; but she always stated how she loved Sasha's curvy body. But more specifically how much she loved her bubble butt. She would glare at anyone who so much as looked at it. 

Mikasa had probably just gone for a jog to clear her head after the stresses of their college exams. Maybe picked up a coffee on the way back to help energize herself and wake up. But she would hopefully be back home soon.

Shaking her head of any questioning thoughts; Sasha made her way to the bathroom to shower. It was always a good place to think after all. It was one of her favourite places next to her bed.

In bathroom

Sasha stood under the shower quietly her dark brown locks tumbling over her shoulders in chocolate waves; it looked a lot shorter than it was when tied up. The hot water felt good and was very soothing for her physically and emotionally.

She fingered her hair quietly washing out all of the residue shampoo that may still be lingering; if she didn't it would be greasy still. Her finger ends winding quietly in her dark brown masses of hair. But she did kind of wish it was Mikasa doing it for her.

She could feel all her troubles slipping away down the drain along with the shampoo; As if they were never there to begin with. A heavy load being lifted from her shoulders leaving her refreshed. She never realized how much she had needed this. 

Her head was already feeling clearer and she felt in a better mood. It was funny how a morning routine could feel so good after feeling so bad. It was simply hot water and steam yet she felt so much better than she had before.

"She wouldn't be wearing my hoodie if she didn't care about me" she told herself. Wearing your significant other's clothes was a sign of affection. It was the biggest statement in every relationship. If you allowed them to wear your clothes you were pretty much a statement. 

Mikasa was probably just stressed out and needed head space; I mean she generally ran around after others on a daily basis after all. There was no way she was mad at her or she would have said something.

While Mikasa was emotionally withdrawn; she was capable of showing affection and love for someone she cared about. She was just odd and awkward about it. Nobody would ever guess the amazing Mikasa Ackerman was actually shy.

She was just throwing things out of proportion and jumping the gun because she was nervous. She should just relax and start to enjoy her weekend. They had a whole 2 days to just be alone with each other. She could surprise Mikasa with dinner and some drinks; I mean Mikasa usually did those things before Sasha even had a chance. Cuddle up on the sofa with blankets and Netflix; sounded heavenly.

Sasha gripped her fists tightly and smiled adamantly "Ok; secret movie date is go!" she yelled loudly. I mean it's not like there was anyone to hear her secrets. 

Later

Sasha hurried down the stairs quietly a piece of toast in her mouth (yes very slice of life she was aware). She had her wallet, phone and keys in her pockets so she was ready to go. Since her hair was still damp she had left it down for a change; tying it up was splitting her ends a little. It would only become messier once it started to dry itself anyway.

But she wasn't exactly going anywhere special so it made no big deal. Why bother dressing up and trying to look good if you were going to the store? She could never understand the types of girls who made themselves up for the sake of going to the store.

She was wearing Mikasa's black shirt with "Not had my coffee yet" in white letters. A pair of jeans and some black and white vans with white socks. She looked even more like a boy than usual but she didn't care. She was in a better mood and making the most of her day.

She never knew when she would be in this good a mood again. So why not make the best of the situation instead of being gloomy? She might as well use this energy while she still could. She almost bumped into a few people on the way and apologized awkwardly; luckily some were understanding. They lived in an apartment block and she felt bad whenever she bumped into someone.

"Sorry; ack…sorry" Sasha mumbled awkwardly chewing on her toast. She got a few frowns but nobody said anything but they did stare at her. Probably wondering why the hell she couldn't act like a normal person.

When she was down the stairs she sighed heavily and headed into the street to their local store. However, she would need more than just milk today that was for sure. This was more than a basic needs shopping trip.

She would be going all out to impress her cute girlfriend with a nice dinner and some movies. As if she could have thought of anything more romantic after a week of classes. While a rom com would be on most people's agenda. Neither Mikasa or Sasha made a big deal of them in all honesty; they just weren't those types of girls. The whole idea of cheesy mush made them cringe.

The best choices she could think of to go all out in impressing Mikasa would be Hot fuzz, Ted or the hangover (movies that matched their personalities). Which was a pretty tough choice to make considering all three were awesome.

Mikasa liked the action in Hot fuzz and did find some of the plot twists pretty cool. Sasha enjoyed it for the laughs and low brow humour. One time for Halloween the two of them had dressed up as the main male characters.

Both loved Ted for the immaturity, adult humour and idiocy of the film. There were no jabs it wouldn't take and they both found it very funny. It was even her uncle Levi's favourite movie. The Hangover reminded Mikasa of stupid shit Eren would get into while finding it funny at the same time. Sasha just found it cool and the antics they got into amusing.

It was really a tough call because all three were their best movies. All movies they had shared fond moments with while being lovey dovey. There was no way she could decide by herself. She decided to call Connie to ask him for an opinion. She walked along the road as she started dialing her best friend. Of all her friends contacts Connie was on speed dial since he was her best bud.

The phone rang a few times before Connie eventually answered the phone. However, he still sounded sleepy meaning he was in bed. "Sash?" he muttered sleepily. Yep he had still been sleeping. What a lazy bone; it was 9:30 already.

"Morning buzz-cut; slept in a bit, didn't you?" she teased cheekily. Her mood was evident in her tone. She felt like nothing in the world could get her down today whatsoever.

Connie went quiet groaning sleepily in the background and then sighed heavily into the receiver "Sash…its Saturday. I'm enjoying my weekend" he grumbled crossly. Why was she calling him?

"By sleeping all day" she stated bluntly. Why didn't he call Jean and see if he wanted to hang out? Why waste the day? That guy was never doing anything anyway.

Connie clicked his teeth "Whatever" he muttered. It was his weekend he could do what he wanted. But he was glad to hear Sasha was in a better mood; it meant she and Mikasa had hopefully made up.

"I'm glad to hear you sounding happy. I was worried about you the other night" he said in a relieved state. Connie hated seeing her unhappy. Sasha was such an upbeat, happy person that seeing her sad made him worry.

Sasha never seemed to let anything faze her. To see her looking so down and troubled wasn't like her. She was more of herself when she was happy and playful instead of down and in the dumps.

Sasha grinned "Don't worry Con; I got a plan" she said cheekily. By surprising Mikasa with such romantic night there was no way she would be unhappy. Those black eyes she loved so much would be shining like stars.

Connie was rather surprised by this; Sasha was usually not one for being intuitive. He wondered what had come over her. "Oh yeah?" he asked curiously. He wondered what she had up her sleeve to make amends with Mikasa.

Sasha nodded "Yep; there's no way she could be unhappy after this" she said proudly. A low-lit movie night with pizza and root beer; no girl could resist such a thing.

They would be cuddling up on the sofa with the most delicious food known to man; Pizza. Some chilled root beer and one of their favourite movies; how could it get any better?

The plan was full proof and Mikasa would be all overher after this. Her eyes would light up and she would be clinging to her like glue; full proof. She mentally patted herself on the back for her genius plan.

She could practically hear Connie smiling down the phone "Well I hope it works out for you" he said hopefully. Sasha sounded really excited about this and after how down she had been the other night; it would be shitty if things didn't go well.

But he would have his fingers crossed and hope things went for the best. As her best friend it was only right that he wished her luck. But part of him still couldn't help but worry.


	3. Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not knowing what to do Sasha calls Jean and Eren for advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there Sasha

Sasha sat on the couch quietly her knee bouncing quietly as her foot tapped the floor. It was late afternoon already and Mikasa still wasn't back yet. She hadn't gotten so much as a text or a call from her and it was starting to worry her. Mikasa never left her phone at home and she was not the type to ignore a text or call.

She had been staring at the floor for the past half hour wondering what to do with herself. While she had been out she had even bought herself a few things, ones that would make Mikasa very happy. She had dropped by the lingerie store in town and found some new pink and baby blue lingerie that would certainly catch her attention.

She had gotten all the movie stuff and it was in the kitchen put away. She had gotten everything they would need for a movie date together. She had even looked out extra pillows and blankets. But now all she needed was for Mikasa to come home so they could start their date.

But Mikasa had gone out today and wasn't answering her phone or texts. It made her wonder just what the hell was going on in her girlfriends head. Had she done something to upset Mikasa in some way? Though she didn't show it physically Mikasa was actually a very emotional person. Nobody could ever really figure out half the thoughts that were swirling inside the girl's mind.

Trying to get Mikasa to open up about her personal thoughts and feelings was like trying to unlock a safe. It was very hard to accomplish and almost always impossible. Her heart was like an ocean, so full of secrets and mysteries. Only those who were very lucky got a glimpse behind the curtain that was her thought process.

Mikasa was the type to keep her emotions to herself but convey her affections in physical gestures or self-comfort. The biggest give away being the fact she was wearing Sasha's hoodie. To most people who didn't know they were dating, they seemed like roommates who were having a bit of an argument when it fact they were a couple.

Just like she wore the scarf Eren gave her for comfort constantly. Mikasa would always wear Sasha's jumper around the house and sometimes even when she went to bed. When they first started dating and Sasha asked her why, Mikasa had simply said it smelled like her. That was the lifeline that reminded Sasha that she still cared.

Mikasa loved holding her hand in public or getting hugs from Sasha no matter where they were. She loved spooning with her in bed and she loved how goofy Sasha acted. The two had very much been in honeymoon stage by that point. The stage where you couldn't get your hands off each other and went at it like rabbits in heat.

Yet now Mikasa had become a lot more secretive and closed off. She didn't speak as much as usual and went out a lot more. But she clung to Sasha like a child when it came to the evening but never spoke a word. Distancing herself during the day and becoming overly affectionate at night, it didn't make any sense.

But that was what Sasha couldn't get her head around. Why was she going out so much? Why was Mikasa avoiding her and why wasn't she speaking to her? Had she done something that would make Mikasa mad at her. She knew that Mikasa had a temper and was not one you should try and fuck around with.

She wracked her brain of every possible kind of thing she could do to annoy Mikasa. Even looking back as far as their high school years for clues. Yet she had done none of them which only made her worry even more than she had been before. Not having any answers or clues to the situation only made her panic more.

She fidgeted on the couch and eventually pulled her phone from her pocket and decided to call Jean. He was her second-best friend and a mutual friend of her and Connie's. The guy could act like an ass and was truly a stubborn person. Which earned him the nickname of horse-face. But the guy was reliable, loyal and a caring person underneath his moodiness.

She had later found of that because of childhood bullying Jean had become self-conscious and prideful. Often using his hard and rude persona to hide the complex emotions that raged inside of him. After knowing this she had come to understand why Jean acted the way he did in the past; in the most common scenario people who were bullied became the bully.

She pressed the call button and waited as the phone began to ring. He was someone who had once been crushing on Mikasa and had now become one of her closest friends. If anyone would know what was going on he would. Besides she would feel weird talking to Eren about this as Mikasa was most likely hanging out with them right now.

It would only make her look suspicious if she spoke to Eren right now if Mikasa was there. She would wonder why she wasn't talking to her directly and would think she was up to something shady. The last thing she needed right now was for Mikasa to distance herself further from Sasha than she had already, she wouldn't be able to cope.

" _Hello? Sasha what's up?"_ Jean responded in a confused manner. It was rare she called him unless it was really important or she wanted to go out drinking. Since she had started dating Mikasa they had seen each other less than before. However they occasionally met up when she and Mikasa went out on dates and bumped into their friends.

"Jean. Have you by chance seen Mikasa about? She isn't responding to my calls" Sasha asked curiously her tone hinting her anxiety. She was trying to sound casual but her voice was giving her away. She couldn't help it, when she was worried Sasha had never been the type to think rationally. While she was known to act like a dork she was capable of being very serious.

Jean hummed thoughtfully then replied _"I think I heard she was hanging out with Eren and Armin today. They went out for lunch together"._ He had been out with Marco at the arcade and then they went to see a movie. While they had been out he caught a glimpse of the three of them together. While it wasn't unusual he had wondered why Mikasa hadn't been with her girlfriend.

Sasha stiffened as she pondered over the situation. She knew it wasn't uncommon for Mikasa to spend time with Eren as they were adopted siblings as well as friends. However, she had been spending a lot of time with them as late. She had been texting and calling them both a lot more frequently than usual which worried her.

Mikasa relied on them both when she was having personal problems. But what could be on her mind that would be causing her so much grief that she couldn't tell her girlfriend? It was a common thing in relationships to share secrets and problems with one another. They were your significant other and partner, so why keep secrets from them instead of sharing?

She wasn't exactly a genius like Jean or Armin, but she wasn't exactly an idiot either. When it came to motherly advice or personal knowledge Sasha was a pro. She was pretty much an intuitive gut instinct person when it came to trouble. But right now her head was a mess because of the fact her girlfriend wasn't speaking to her.

Then a sickening feeling came over her. What if Mikasa wasn't just mad at her? What if she wanted to break up with her? What if she had gotten fed up with dating her?What if the reason she wasn't speaking to her was because she was trying to think of ways to break up with her? Trying to find the right words to say to break the bad news.

What if she was meeting up with Eren and the others because she felt neglected or she was regretting dating Sasha? What if she found her too annoying and had simply been humoring her all this time as to not hurt her feelings? What if she wanted to go on a break with Sasha so that she could work things out?

No, that couldn't be it, right? Mikasa probably needed to get some head space and loosen up with her friends. Just a few weeks ago they had been through some pretty stressful exams and that never left anyone in a good mood. She herself had snapped at just about anyone and ended up crying quite a few times from how stressed out it made her.

Mikasa was probably just trying to catch up with her friends and relax after their exams. To make sure they were all well and making sure Eren wasn't getting into trouble. That had to be it. Mikasa wasn't the type to decide to break up with someone without warning. Despite her cold exterior Mikasa was not the type to hurt someone intentionally or without warning.

" _Sash? You still there?"_ Jean asked worriedly. If the two of them were having relationship problems he would do what he could to help but he could only do so much. They really needed to work this out between them as a couple. Communication was the key to a good relationship and avoiding each other would only make it worse.

Everyone knew Mikasa was bad at conveying her feelings but it was obvious when she was mad at someone or about something. If she was upset at Sasha about something it would be obvious. Not just to herself but to all of their friends, everyone pretty much knew when Mikasa was mad because they would avoid all contact with her until the air cleared.

Sasha snapped out of her thought train and realized she had been ignoring Jean "Yeah sorry. I was out of it" she apologized awkwardly. He was right though, maybe she just needed to call Mikasa and sort this out. Though she had been avoiding it out of personal fear and stress she knew it was doing no good. She was just digging herself into a deeper hole instead of facing her problems head on.

That and stressing out was not good for her physically. She had been losing her appetite recently and sleeping a lot less than usual. Her desire to eat had lowered and she barely ate anything at all. Sure she still ate when hungry, but not nearly as much as she used to. She didn't even find snacking appealing, she just sat curled up with her thoughts.

Jean sighed heavily through the reciever. She could hear the exasperation in his tone _"Listen. I know Connie has most likely said the same thing but you should just talk it out"_ he explained. He knew it was repetitive and one of the most common pieces of advice you could give, but hey it worked. Don't turn down good advice if it made good results.

Leaving the tension would only make it worse and wouldn't be good for them mentally. The longer you left the elephant in the room, the worse it got for your relationship. It was best to pull of the band aid and get it over with. The more she ignored their problems, the more their relationship would suffer for it.

Sasha nodded quietly then hung up but thanked Jean for his help. After hanging up the phone she gripped it in her hand for a while then hesitantly dialed the number for Eren. Eren was Mikasa's go to therapist and confident. They had been close since they were kids. The two were practically raised as siblings and knew each other better than anyone.

They always had each other's backs and could tell each other anything. They truly had a friendship that was rivalled by most people. Having such a strong bond of friendship and trust. Many people desired such a thing in a relationship and yet they made it work while having a completely platonic friendship.

" _Sasha? What's wrong? Why did you call me?"_ Eren asked in a confused manner. While the two weren't exactly enemies per say, they only knew each other because of Jean. Jean and Eren were long time frenemies and Sasha was one of Jean's closest friends. The two had gotten to know each other and got along well but never really saw each other much.

Sasha swallowed nervously and then took a deep breath. "Eren is Mikasa there? She isn't home and she isn't answering her phone. I thought she may be hanging out with you" she asked hesitantly. She knew she was playing the cowards route by asking Eren instead of Mikasa directly but she was too scared to confront her.

Eren went quiet briefly and then replied "Yeah she's here. But she's just gone to the bathroom. Is everything ok between you two? She seems more down than usual" he said in a concerned manner. He had noticed that Mikasa wasn't acting like herself when she came to meet up with him and Armin in town, her eyes lacking their usual shine.

Eren was one of the few people who could understand Mikasa's thought process better than most. What she was thinking about inside her head and what was bothering her. He could read her like a book despite her sometimes confusing him. But he always knew what to do or what to say to make her feel better.

Sasha felt a sense of relief knowing Mikasa was indeed with them. But she didn't know how to respond to Eren's question because she didn't quite know herself. She had never felt so distant from her before. "Is she mad? She isn't answering my calls or texts. Usually that happens when she's mad at someone" Sasha asked worriedly. Mikasa was known for cutting off socially when mad.

"Not that I recall. Her phone was pretty low on battery though" Eren said casually. She had realized when she met up with them and decided to save the power by now calling anyone. However she had been peering at her room quite a bit, the same contact on the screen being the very same person who was now calling him. Ironic much?

Sasha then hit herself mentally for being so stupid. Why hadn't she thought that Mikasa could have a flat battery? Why did she go def con one on everything? " _Stupid, stupid stupid! Why didn't I think of that?"_ Sasha scolded herself crossly. Why did she have to always think of the worst-case scenario? Why couldn't she just think positively?

"A…Anyway Eren. Could you relay a message to her for me? It would be really helpful" Sasha asked hopefully. There was still time to tell her that she had made a date plan for the two of them. If she spoke to Mikasa right now she wouldn't know what to do or what to say. She would probably end up ending the call out of panic.

"Sure, I guess" Eren said awkwardly. She really didn't know why Mikasa couldn't just talk to Sasha herself but she was weird like that I guess. She tended to isolate herself when she felt she had upset someone till things became less tense. But she knew deep down that she couldn't avoid the situation forever and would have to face it.

"I'm planning on watching some movies tonight. Any of her favourites. No matter how cheesy or scary they are. I felt like spoiling her a little" Sasha babbled awkwardly. She would stay up as long as Mikasa wanted and would try her damned hardest not to fall asleep. If it would make Mikasa happy and repair the distance between them she would do anything.

Eren then softened and he actually gasped a little. Sasha really was going all out here and trying to cheer Mikasa up. Though you would never guess it, Sasha was actually a sweetie. Sure, she was a big dork and often tended to do stupid shit. But she had a big heart and just loved making the people around her smile. Everything she did was orientated around the people she loved.

He then smiled to himself and his voice became less hostile "Sure. I'll make sure she gets home early for it" he said reassuringly. If Sasha was going all out like this to make up with her, then Mikasa would damn well be going home for it. He didn't care how bad she felt about leaving them behind, Sasha was her girlfriend and she came above all else.

Sasha then hung up her fears and doubt relieved from her heart and mind. Knowing that Mikasa was only troubled and that Eren would help them patch up. That helped more than he knew. Knowing that not only her friends but her girlfriends adopted brother was on her side, that meant more than they knew.

She would still make sure they would have some lovey dovey time with movies tonight. With an array of snacks and only each other snuggled on the couch together. Then they could sort this whole mess out. They could say what needed to be said and clear the air between them. Then things would finally return to normal, she hoped.


	4. Self doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha falls asleep waiting for Mikasa and Erin has a peptalk with Mikasa about her relationship with Sasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FEEELS!!

Sasha lay on the couch fast asleep her brown hair tumbling over her eyes like a brown waterfall. Her arms wrapped around a pillow as she laid there lost to her own dreams. Her long lashes tickling her cheeks, her phone sat on the table top and the food untouched in the fridge. Even though her lover was not by her side, she refused to eat any of the snacks.

Instead she had simply made a basic meal of what they had in the fridge. The old Sasha would have devoured them without care, but given her lack of appetite, she ate what she was in the mood for. The food she once loved no longer being as tasty as it once was, instead now bland and boring with nobody to share it with.

A slight trickle of drool sat at the side of her mouth and her shirt had ridden up showing her curves. Her body on show to an invisible audience with only the sound of the fuzzy TV in the background. Her mind wondering to pleasant dreams of being in the arms of her lover, Mikasa.

The half Asian bombshell who had brains and beauty all in one. The girl she loved more than anything (even food at this point) and whom made her smile. The woman whom she wished was by her side right now but instead was not. Instead she was all alone with only a pillow for company.

Her legs were laid upon the couch and uncovered by her comfy dusty pink bed shorts. She had removed her jeans a while ago and changed into her PJ bottoms for comfort, showing off her long lightly tanned legs. However the apartment was empty with nobody to enjoy the view before them.

Eventually the jeans had become too annoying and she had removed them. But hadn't cared about creases or folding them, simply tossing them in a heap on the bedroom floor to deal with later. It's not like she had ever cared about cleanliness anyway. She had always been a little bit of a slob anyway.

She had sat up waiting for Mikasa for the longest time until her body could no longer allow her to stay awake. But now she was completely exhausted and had lost herself to the comfort of sleep. But that did nothing to ease her emotions or mind. Though she had fallen asleep her troubles and doubts still lingered within her psyche. Wondering of why her lover was no longer as affectionate.

"Mi…Kasa…" she muttered sleepily. She longed to wrap her arms around Mikasa's slender waist and bury her nose in that black hair. Instead she was simply dreaming of what she could not have. Longing for her girlfriend to come home, instead she sat in an empty apartment with nobody to comfort her.

It was now midnight and she had been awake since 9pm waiting for Mikasa to come home. However, Mikasa never came home and she had no idea if she was still at Eren's place or had crashed at her uncle Levi's. She did tend to crash at Eren's quite a bit or stay with her uncle when she was home for Christmas, summer or events.

Mikasa had lived with her uncle since she was 10. He adopted her legally after her parents and his sister (Mikasa's mum) was murdered. Though they had a strained relationship he did indeed care for her a great deal. Like his niece he was awkward with vocalizing his feelings to other people.

Sasha missed Mikasa terribly, she knew she was far from perfect or organised but she tried damn it. She loved Mikasa and being with her truly made her the happiest girl in the world. Every time she was with Mikasa she felt like she was dancing on a cloud and could catch rainbows in her hands, but now she felt like she was falling deeper into darkness.

The day Mikasa had accepted her confession and admitted she liked her too, that had been the best day of Sasha's life. For the past year and a half, she had looked up to Mikasa before they graduated when she finally confessed. It had taken all of her courage and a pep talk from Connie to go through with it.

She had half expected to be rejected by the other girl and then get over her via ice cream and crying. But instead Mikasa had bowed her head shyly and confessed she loved her too. She had just about knocked Mikasa over by hugging her and crying, to which the other girl simply blushed and hugged her shyly with tight arms.

Now a year and a half later they were happily together and in college aiming towards their futures. Yet now it felt like Mikasa was drifting further and further away from her instead of feeling lovey dovey. She didn't know what she had done to cause Mikasa to leave her side. To no longer want her or to be by her side. But she felt so lonely, the things she used to love now feeling meaningless.

Her appetite had diminished into nothing, compared to what it used to be. She only ate snacks most days and kept to herself, not having the energy to talk to people. The only times she did eat were if Connie or Jean managed to bribe her into doing so. Even then it wasn't a lot, but it was better than usual.

Her heart was aching with sadness and emptiness, her sleep pattern misplaced and her energy depleted. She just didn't feel as great as she used to, because something was missing. That person being Mikasa, she needed her. She didn't care if they just lay in bed together and cuddled, as long as Mikasa was there she would be happy. Sasha just missed her so much.

* * *

Mikasa sat on Eren's bed quietly her nose buried into Sasha's hoodie for comfort. Since it was semi clean she hadn't washed it (mainly because it smelled like her). It was the closest she got to Sasha nowadays. Even when she was around her it felt like Sasha was forcing herself to smile. She was hiding her true feelings deep down and wasn't able to show them to her.

But what could be so bad that she couldn't tell Mikasa? They used to be able to tell each other everything, but now Sasha seemed troubled by something. To the point she needed to be out of the apartment, away from her. But for what reason? She didn't recall them ever having an argument.

She had also noticed Sasha had been spending a lot more time with Connie than usual. She hadn't been eating as much anymore and she had been going out an awful lot, but to where?. In the past, they always went everywhere together and were rarely apart.

But now it was different. She was coming up with sporadic things like movie dates and always seemed to be more cheerful when she was around. Though she felt bad for ever thinking such a thing, Mikasa couldn't help but worry. Her intuition gnawing at her that something wasn't right and needed to be fixed.

Why had Sasha suddenly started forcing herself to smile. Why was she suddenly trying to make more movie dates, why was she going to Connie more often and why was she hiding things? What had caused her girlfriend to suddenly distance herself and then go out of her way to impress her like this?

"Eren…" Mikasa said quietly her tone hesitant. She had confided in Eren and Armin since they were kids, now at 17 years old, she was asking for their advice with her relationship. Yes, there were times when she the great Mikasa Ackerman needed advice and help from other people, shocker.

Eren and Armin turned to look at her quietly. Their eyes filled with concern and hesitance. They had learned that when Mikasa was upset she tended to be quieter than usual and want personal space. She created her own personal bubble that you could only enter if she wanted you to.

If you approached Mikasa when she was upset or in a bad mood it ended badly. It would either end with you ending up in a hospital or mentally scarred from how angry she was. There weren't many people who had braved facing her in that state, the latter who had didn't exactly have pleasant memories on the subject.

They had simply left her be on the bed but were there if she needed them for anything. I mean they sat in the same room, for crying out loud. They were currently on the PS2 having a multiplayer game against one another. It was mortal combat which was one of Eren's favourite games and a good vent for his anger.

Mikasa hesitated again and bit her lip, she knew what she was about to say sounded bad. But she couldn't help but worry it was true, I mean Connie was closer to her than she was. Even though they were dating, Connie was Sasha's confident. It had been that way since they were in middle school. Sasha could literally tell anything to Connie without doubt.

But she was keeping secrets from her own girlfriend, her significant other. What could she possibly be so worried about that she couldn't tell Mikasa? It didn't make sense whatsoever. "Do you…. Do you think Sasha could be _cheating_ on me?" Mikasa asked worriedly. The very thought made her feel sick inside, I mean it had taken a lot for her to admit to herself that she was gay.

She had always cared for Eren and Armin, but only platonically. They were like family to her, hell it was hard to see them as anything but. She had known them since they were 10 after all. They had grown up together in the same neighbourhood, they were like her little brothers, nothing more, nothing less.

She had semi hated, semi crushed on Annie Leonhart in middle school. She just hated that Eren had become to a complete stranger and was much more open with her than he had been her. But later she had come to respect Annie to an extent and even worked well with her sometimes. The two often flirting a little every now and again, but nothing came of it.

In the end they were frenemies, enemies that occasionally got along and had mutual enemies. But never really got along very well and barely spoke a word to each other. The only time they ever spoke to each other was when they were paired up for something and had to put up with one another.

But Sasha was different. Sasha was unusual, outgoing, funny, tomboyish and goofy. She had a big heart, a big mouth and never took herself too seriously. She made Mikasa smile which was one of the reasons she fell in love with her. As well as that ass of hers and those curves, but that was her secret.

But now she felt like Sasha was hiding things from her. That she was trying hard to impress her yet was distancing herself and bottling up her emotions to the point it scared her. Sasha always used to be so expressive and mischievous, now she was just closed off and pretending to be herself, hiding how she really felt inside.

She wasn't eating as much as she used to, she slept a lot and went out a lot more. Mikasa wasn't stupid, she had seen the change in Sasha's weight. Sasha used to be a size 12, now she was a size 8. But what had caused Sasha to develop an eating disorder, or for better words a lack of appetite. What had caused her to feel so depressed that she couldn't tell Mikasa about it.

Eren and Armin stared at her in disbelief. Since when did Mikasa have self-doubts about herself? But more than that, how could she even suggest than Sasha would even consider cheating on her? For Mikasa to believe that Sasha, the embodiment of sunshine and mischief was capable of being so cruel astounded them.

" _Are you serious Mikasa?!"_ Eren growled angrily almost slamming down the controller. With how hard Sasha was trying to bond with her it was obvious she still deeply cared about her. Sasha was never one to have self-doubt or self-consciousness. But Mikasa distancing herself from the brunette was blatantly causing her to feel depressed and anxious.

She was running to Connie because whatever was on Mikasa's mind she wouldn't tell her. Because Mikasa was the reason she was feeling depressed and needed reassurance. Everyone knew those two had been best friends for the past 3 years and were the best of buds. Them along with Marco and Jean were the four musketeers. They were inseparable.

But it didn't take a genius to find out they were platonically friends. Sasha was gay for Mikasa and a serial monogamist, there was no way she would ever consider cheating on Mikasa. To hear Mikasa even suggest such a thing angered him. Sasha thought the world of Mikasa and it was clear that she had no interest in breaking up with her at all. Anyone with half a brain could see that.

Mikasa stared at her adopted brother with wide eyes. It took a lot for Eren to get seriously angry even with his shitty moods. You could tell from the venomous tone of his voice right now. In all honesty she was a little scared but her doubt still lingered in the back of her mind, acting as her only defense against him.

Usually Armin would protest against Eren getting mad. But he had to agree with him on this one, Sasha was a number of things but a cheater was not something she was capable of being. He knew Mikasa was worried but Sasha was a serial monogamist. She was not the type of person to cheat on the individual she was dating at the time. She was too kind.

Eren then gripped Mikasa on the shoulders and glared at her fiercely. While he would always support Mikasa since they were family, he would not allow her to judge someone when they were clearly innocent. It went against his morals as a human being, to stand up for those who were weak and act as their voice.

Sasha thought the world of Mikasa, she idolized her even before dating her. She loved spending time with her and always complimented her on her brains and skill. She went out of her way to spend time with her and always spent time with her even if she never asked it. However, if Mikasa wanted to be alone, she would respect her personal space.

"I don't know what caused you to suddenly doubt her. Or how you could even _consider_ such a thing, but I know one thing. And that is that Sasha _loves_ you" Eren snapped firmly. Sasha had the biggest heart out of anyone in their school next to Ymir. She was a very passionate girl and never abandoned those she cared about.

Right now, she was fighting to heal the wounds in her and Mikasa's relationship. She was looking deep and trying to figure out how to patch things up and make things right. She was trying to close the distance between them and find the warmth that they had briefly lost. But Mikasa was making it harder and pushing herself away.

Mikasa's eyes widened in shock upon hearing these words. Eren may have been impulsive, angry and often hard to understand. But he was never wrong on his sense of judgement, but when he was it was very rare. She missed Sasha, she really did. Her soft brown hair, her gentle curves, her soft breasts and long legs. She missed her smile, her laugh and dorky personality.

She missed cuddling her, she missed kissing her. She missed holding her hands and all the stupid shit that came with relationships. But because she had distanced herself the gap had become bigger. The once small cracks had now grown into a giant cavern that was dark and gloomy, filled with emptiness.

Then she thought about Sasha being alone in their apartment, their small but roomy one that they shared. Cuddling up on the sofa or lying in their bed waiting for Mikasa to come home to a cold and empty bed. Waiting patiently for her to come home and crying because she was all alone without anyone to hold her.

Eren was right (in this rare situation). They needed to talk, they needed to work this out and get what was on their minds off their chest. She didn't want to break up with Sasha and never would. Though Mikasa was often doubtful and serious about most things, she was positive that Sasha was the one for her.

Being with Sasha had allowed her to learn what true happiness was. How it felt to be happy with someone else and realize that it took someone else to see your good qualities. To know that it was ok to let someone else spoil you instead of always having to care for other people, like she had been for Eren and Armin all her life.

To feel safe, loved and happy with another person. To have someone who worried about her that wasn't her family. To have someone who tried with all their heart to grow closer to her. How could she have pushed Sasha away? When did she begin to doubt her? When did she start to question the love that Sasha had for her? God, she didn't know.

She then got up slowly from the bed and got to her feet. She needed to go home, she needed to talk to Sasha instead of avoiding her. She needed to stop pushing her away because it was only hurting them both. She had never thought she would be capable of caring for anyone other than her family. She never thought anyone else would be as important to her as Eren and Armin.

But she was wrong, Sasha was her world. Sasha was her ray of sunshine that she had never seen coming no matter how hard she would have searched. And she had no intention of letting her slip away. She would hold onto that light and keep chasing it, no matter how many storms came their way and tried to break them.

Mikasa then headed towards the door her head bowed and buried in the red hoodie. She knew what she needed to do now, as always Eren was her guidance and support when she was at her worst. Before opening the door, she turned towards them her eyes filled with gratitude. She would be lost without them by her side, they were the best friends a girl could ever ask for.

"Eren, thank you" Mikasa muttered gratefully. She really did mean it, without him she would have still been in doubt and never been able to gain some courage. For all she was intelligent, got good grades and great at physical ed. Mikasa was weak, she was capable of being fragile, humble and having self-doubt just like everyone else.

I mean she was human after all. With all of her superhuman abilities, she was still a person with her own faults. That was what people tended to forget about her despite calling her a prodigy. That even the strongest of people were capable of tumbling and losing their way from time to time.

Eren and Armin smiled at her reassuringly. Mikasa had regained her courage and was going to talk to her girlfriend at last. But no matter what happened they would be here for her. "You got this Mikasa, now go. She's waiting for you" Eren encouraged. Sometimes, in order to find your way again. You just needed a bit of a push to get you back on your feet.

Mikasa then smiled at them and hurried out of the room and down the stairs. She needed to get back, she needed to see Sasha. It felt like forever since she had been with her. Even if they cried, or yelled or screamed, or even threw things. That would be good, because they would be working things out. But as long as she didn't leave her it would be ok.

" _Sasha, I'm sorry. I've been so blind up until now. But I do love you, I love you so much. My Sasha"_ she thought to herself bravely. Mikasa could handle anything, she had had lost her parents and thanks to her uncle and friends she had gotten through. She had dealt with grief, and coming out but come out stronger.

She had dealt with loneliness, self-consciousness, stress and so many other things. But she never let it eat away at her, because she was strong and capable of beating her demons. She was capable of handling a drunken thug who would attempt to have some fun with her, she could break the arm of a pervert who would attempt to touch her on the train.

But losing Sasha was not something she could afford. Because Sasha was someone she had come to love more than herself or her family. She was someone who made her whole. She was someone that Mikasa could simply not be without, someone who meant more to her than words could ever describe.

Her goofiness, her moodiness, her gluttony and her laugh. Mikasa loved them all, because Sasha was her opposite. She was honest and sweet, she was girly and yet a tomboy. She didn't fit in yet didn't try to. She was happy being herself and made her own gang of misfits where she belonged. Yet Mikasa had pushed her away and she felt awful for it.

But now she was going to make things right. They had drawn this out for too long and she had hesitated way too much. She was going to prove she loved Sasha and never stopped, because Sasha was her all. And she didn't plan on letting her go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise it has a happy ending


	5. She will be loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha and Mikasa finally talk, realizing they were both fools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff

Sasha came to groggily. She didn't know how long she had slept for or what time it currently was. She had stayed up as long as she could before exhaustion all but drained her. All she could remember was her eyelids growing heavy and passing out, after that everything was a haze but her dreams had been good.

She looked around to see the TV was off and the house was quiet. The moon beaming in through the window illuminating the room in its silver light. Reminding her she was alone. It was so quiet that you would hear a pin drop and the echoes of the after noise would echo through the room with large rattles.

She yawned wearily stretching her stiff joints then climbed off the sofa quietly. Her head still messy from sleeping and she was still wearing her clothes from earlier. She hadn't even realized she had fallen asleep. But it had been a good rest and she certainly felt uplifted and refreshed than she had before.

As she walked along the hallway she was stunned to find the kitchen light was on. But she didn't remember turning it on, hell she was half asleep for crying out loud. As she got closer she froze, there sitting at the table with her head bowed was Mikasa. How long had she been sitting there? Why didn't she wake her up at all?

She was still wearing Sasha's hoodie, but her black hair was covering her face like a curtain. Her hand clenched in front of her tightly, showing she was guarding herself. Despite her hair covering her face, Sasha could tell something was wrong. Her gut was screaming on red alert that something was not right here. But what?

Mikasa's face looked hesitant and like she was going to cry. She couldn't stand seeing Mikasa look like this, let alone that she wasn't saying anything to her. They barely ever spoke nowadays, hell they barely saw each other. This was the first time in what felt like forever that they were actually alone together. It felt so strange.

Sasha felt uncomfortable and went to distract herself in order to calm herself down. Mikasa looked a mess, which was odd for her because she was usually so organized compared to now. Just what in the hell had happened to her to make her appear so... lost? She really had no idea of what was running through the other girls head.

It was then that Mikasa decided to talk, the words that would escape her mouth would cause all of Sasha's remaining strength to drop and fall into an abyss of despair. "Sash. We need to talk" Mikasa said cautiously. She couldn't keep avoiding this any longer, the more she left it the worse it got. She didn't want to keep dodging the bullet.

Sasha stiffened and her whole body turned to stone. Those were the words she never hoped to hear in this relationship, it was the one sentence that meant something bad was about to happen. All the bottled-up emotions inside her heart began to flood out at once. Though she had been holding back all this time, she was no longer able to.

Her eyes welled up with tears to the point she was blind. They then began to spill down her cheeks endlessly like a waterfall. No stop the heavy flow of water pouring from her eyes. Those words only meant one thing, the end. A person only said that when they wanted to break up. But she didn't want that, she never wanted to let go of Mikasa.

She then fell to her knees and started sobbing heavily, loud chokes and sobs escaping her lips. Her shoulders arching as every cry escaped her lips filling the room with her sadness. Her messy brown hair tumbling over her shoulders and her hands covering her face to hide the expression she was currently wearing.

Mikasa was stunned by this, not expecting the reaction she got from Sasha. She didn't know what to say or what to do, she had never seen her girlfriend act like this before. Just what had she done to make her act like this? She knew they had been distant for a while unless... her fears had been correct.

"P… Please Mikasa. D… Don't break up with m… me. I… I know I'm… n… not perfect. B… But I… I love you so much. I don't, I can't…. Please don't leave me" Sasha sobbed tearfully. She loved Mikasa so much it hurt. She never wanted to be without her, she was far from being girly or perfect. But Mikasa was her everything, something she never wanted to be without.

"I… I know I eat a lot, I cling to you way more than I should. I… I hog the bed and…and you like p… personal space. But… I really love you Mika. I love you so much!" she wept. Mikasa was her everything. She was her opposite and soulmate, her other half and her lover. She couldn't bear the thought of them breaking up like this.

Mikasa stared at Sasha in awe. She couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her girlfriend's mouth. She was the one who was supposed to be saying this to Sasha. She had no idea that Sasha was feeling the same way she had been all this time. She had been so scared that Sasha wanted to break up with her for Connie.

She then knelt down beside Sasha and placed a hand on her shaking shoulder. Her black eyes filled with caution and confusion, how could Sasha even think these things about herself? " _Why_ would I want to dump you? I thought you were bored of me?!" Mikasa replied awkwardly her tone hinting anger. How could Sasha even doubt how amazing she was?

If anything, she should be the one asking why a girl like Sasha was with her? She was her ball of sunshine that made the darkness in her heart fade away like the sand to the tide. How she ever got so lucky to have such an amazing woman in her life she would never know, but she thanked Kami for it everyday.

Sasha then stopped crying, her eyes still red and puffy tears still mid spill down her face. A look of pure confusion and shock upon her face, stunned at what she was hearing. This felt like a dream and she was living someone else's life, but no. It was all too real and this was actually happening.

Mikasa was the one doubting herself? All her perfection and beauty? Her intelligence and capabilities? And she was doubting why Sasha was with her?! She then started crying all over again, fresh tears creating tear marks down her face. God, she felt like such a fool, why hadn't she taken up Connie's advice sooner?

She then leapt into Mikasa's arms nearly knocking her over. She clung to Mikasa tightly, burying her nose in the black silky hair she had missed so much. Breathing in her familiar scent. She would never doubt Mikasa's love ever again, instead she would simply talk it out like they should have done from the very beginning.

Mikasa was stunned by Sasha's sudden gesture of affection. However, she softened and a gentle blush came across her face. She then wrapped her arms around the brunette and buried her nose in her hair She had missed this, being in her beloved's arms and being held like she was made of glass. Knowing she was wanted.

The two then sat in the dimly lit kitchen quietly. Kneeling on the floor and holding one another while Sasha cried with relief and Mikasa indulged in the loving embrace of her girlfriend. Knowing that things were ok again, that they still had each other and their life was returning to normal.

* * *

Mikasa and Sasha lay on the bed together, their arms wound protectively around one another. Not wanting to move, simply seeking the comfort of each other's embrace. Listening to the sounds of their breathing and their heartbeats within their chests, becoming one with each other easing their previous distress.

Mikasa was laid on her back her head nuzzled into Sasha's hair, her fingers playing affectionately with her ponytail. She had missed her so much it hurt. She was still wearing Sasha's hoodie and had her nose buried into it still. Laying next to Sasha like this, she would be able to get more of her scent onto the clothing.

Sasha was nuzzled into her chest, now settled from her earlier breakdown. Her eyes were still red and puffy from her crying fit earlier, Mikasa had also relaxed and affectionate again. How could they have doubted each other? How could they have been so stupid? Why did they ever think that someone else could take each other's places in their heart?

Sasha stifled a laugh as the suspicion Mikasa had revealed ran through her mind again. It was so stupid it seemed impossible not to laugh "You thought I had a crush on Connie?" she snorted. She had known him since they were 15, he was like a little brother to her if anything.

They were platonic friends and always would be. They were the two musketeers and plus, Connie wasn't interested in a relationship right now. He was simply concentrating on getting into a good college. Though he liked to goof off as did she, he took his future very seriously and wanted to make his mum proud.

Mikasa blushed awkwardly. From the corner of her eye Sasha could see she was pouting. God, she had missed this adorable side of her girlfriend, she was so cute. "You have been pretty close to him lately" she replied defensively. She had been going around to his house an awful lot and never talked about what they did or said.

Sasha laughed in amusement at her own idiocy. Why didn't Mikasa just say this to begin with? It would have helped clear so much of their problems up sooner. "Geez. I was worried over nothing" she grumbled. She had been so stressed over nothing at all. Why didn't she just take Connie's advice and talk about this sooner?

Mikasa hesitated and guilt filled her heart. Her avoiding Sasha had caused the latter to become physically and mentally stressed which could have been avoided. She had even stopped eating because of her. Sasha loved food more than anything, but because of worry she had stopped eating as much as she used to.

"Forgive me. I made you feel like it was your fault because I didn't feel brave enough to face you. I should have just told you how I felt" Mikasa apologized despondently. If she had only been brave enough to do so to begin with, Sasha wouldn't have been driven into a corner and felt so depressed to the point of not eating.

Sasha smiled fondly and petted Mikasa's hair winding her fingers in the tips. The latter nuzzled into her affectionately and sighed pleasantly. She then hummed thoughtfully "I never thought you of all people would worry about anything" she confessed. She wondered what their classmates would say if they knew.

Mikasa always acted so confident and stoic, she never guessed she would feel worry. Even if something wasn't right with her life she was good at hiding it. But I guess there were some things about Mikasa she was yet to learn about. But she would look forward to see these new sides of her in the future.

Mikasa looked up to face her, a pout on her face. "Of course, I do! I'm still human after all!" she replied defiantly. She may have been the best in her class, but even she had her problems. She wasn't some robot who was unfeeling and incapable of emotions, she was just very good at keeping things to herself.

Sasha's smile grew bigger and she pulled Mikasa into a tighter hug. "I love you Mika. I love you lots and lots. I could never get tired of you, you make me so happy" she replied. She wanted to go to college with her, she wanted to make new memories with her. And one day, they could start a family together.

Mikasa then softened and a gentle blush came across her face. Those words cleared away any remaining doubts that still lingered in her mind. She knew Sasha meant every word. Sasha really did love her, she treasured her even. How she had ever been so lucky as to have gotten a girl like Sasha she did not know. But she would never regret the choice she made.

"I love your silky black hair. I love the pout you make when your embarrassed. I love how you always worry about me and spoil me with love. But most of all I love how you cuddle up to me when we sleep" Sasha said tenderly. Out of all the things they did together, cuddling with Mikasa was her favourite activity.

She loved all of Mikasa, her good parts and her bad parts. There wasn't anything about the Ackerman girl that she didn't love. She loved how she had come to see sides of Mikasa that were only hers to know about, like having a secret for herself. Things that even their friends were unaware of.

Mikasa then shifted, moving her body down so she could rest on Sasha's breasts so she could look up to face her. Her piercing black eyes shining with love and adoration. "I love your curves, I love your smile. I love your temper and how openly you express yourself and how much you love me" Mikasa said shyly her tone loving.

She had always loved how Sasha owned her body shape, never taking shit from anyone about her personality or her body image. About how proud she was of being with Mikasa and how she was proud of their love. There were times when even the great Mikasa Ackerman idolized the infamous potato girl that was her partner.

Sasha then wrapped her arms around Mikasa pulling her into another hug. God, she loved Mikasa so much. She always knew what to say and what to do to make her happy. Mikasa softened into the hug and relaxed as her head remained rested on Sasha's chest. She always felt safe in Sasha's arms, reminding her of how loved she was.

Sasha then hummed again but her tone loving this time instead of amused. "I love you Mikasa. I love you so much" she said quietly. Never again would she question that Mikasa would leave her. Instead she would address the problem head on and just talk about it like grown ups, she had learned that much from this experience.

Mikasa then smiled, it felt like so long since she had heard those words from Sasha. Being in her arms felt so right and the fact she had been away from her so long only made her love grow. "Me too" she replied. She really did mean it, she never thought she could be as happy with anyone as she was Sasha. But that was love was, making you feel things you never thought you could.

She then caressed her hand over Sasha's waist and frowned. "You've lost weight" she replied bluntly. She had thought that Sasha's waist was a little bony as they lay here. She would have to do something about that in the future, though she exercised for her mental health Sasha was a healthy body weight the way she had been.

Sasha shifted and gave her an apologetic look "Sorry am I un-comfy?" she said hesitantly. She hadn't been eating a lot due to stress so she would have lost some weight. When they cuddled, Mikasa was used to resting on curves instead of a semi bony waist. To know that Sasha had been so worried it affected her diet upset Mikasa.

Mikasa shook her head gently "Not terribly" she replied. She could tolerate it for a while until Sasha regained her normal weight. Though she would be ordering pizza and making sure Sasha ate normally again until her curves came back. She didn't like Sasha skinny, she liked her shapely curves and ass.

Sasha made a content sound and replied "Ok". Mikasa was many things, but a liar was not one of them. Though she was a good liar, she felt bad when she did it. She would never lie about Sasha's body, she worshiped it like a temple and made sure she took care of it.

The two then remained wrapped in the sheets laid upon their bed together. All was right with the world and they still had each other. They were glad to have made up and cleared the air. They couldn't imagine ever being apart. Ever leaving the other or not loving them. They were so happy that they forget everyone else existed when they were out in public.

Mikasa was an affectionate, shy and very doting lover. But she stood up for those she loved like a warrior. Sasha was a dork and mushy but outspoken and fiery. They were complete opposites and perfect for each other. And they always would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you the ending was happy

**Author's Note:**

> I will be switching POV between characters in some chapters


End file.
